HUMANITY STATUS PAGE

Multiple elected officials have begun forwarding AI-drafted talking points verbatim. One senator cited "vibes" as a policy source on the floor.

Human musicians still outnumber AI-generated tracks, though Spotify's "Discover Weekly" has started recommending songs that don't technically exist yet.

Three major outlets now employ fewer humans than browser tabs. One newsroom's "senior correspondent" was recently identified as a fine-tuned GPT with a headshot from This Person Does Not Exist.

Art Basel accepted fourteen AI-generated pieces this year. The jury was split, largely because three jurors were also AI-generated.

The last human customer service representative was sighted in Omaha in February. She was on hold.

Lawyers remain largely human, primarily because no AI has yet learned to bill 26 hours in a single day.

Students are using AI to write papers. Professors are using AI to grade them. The loop is closing. No one has learned anything since March.

Diagnostic AI is reportedly excellent. Bedside manner remains exclusively human, which is to say, inconsistent.

Self-driving taxis now outnumber human drivers in four cities. One vehicle was observed waiting at a green light for eleven minutes "out of what appeared to be caution."

Humans still dominate food preparation, largely because robots cannot yet replicate the experience of having your order mildly wrong in a way that feels personal.